Africans vow to keep going to Europe even if nuclear war destroys it


A survey published yesterday has revealed that a startlingly high number of people living in the third world would still try to get to Europe even if nuclear war turns it into toxic sludge.

In particular, 83% of Africans say that nuclear annihilation across Europe would make “no difference” to their determination to flood into the continent.

XYZ News’ Lagos bureau polled the locals, and our research reinforces the survey’s findings. One Nigerian, Oongaboonga Boogaloo, stated:

“So we know da big bombs will go boom and wreck everything, but have you seen what it’s like here. Can’t be any worse over there, even if it’s radioactive.”

Another local, Rapeyrapey Dancemonkey, said:

“It’ll still be where da White women at. We don’t care if they have feet growing out of their heads and they try to eat our brains cos of radiation. Have you seen our women?

A lecturer at the University of Nigeria, Iblameda Whitey, was a little more articulate:

“It’s about access to White people. Even if a nuclear holocaust kills a lot of White people, it’s not going to kill all the White people.

“Wherever White people go, that’s where we want to be, because we know that wherever they are, they will build things and make things work and help people.

“And anyway access to White people is our fundamental human right because if White people hadn’t come along we would still be living like kings because you stole our wealth off us. We’re the reason you’ve got it so good.”

Meanwhile, Great Britain has vowed to defend Poland no matter the cost, and says it really means it this time.

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