BREAKING: Gorilla Glue forced to apply warning label “Not to be used by black people”


A black woman is planning to sue a glue company after using its product in her hair. (We know we don’t usually link to mainstream media, as to avoid amplifying dangerous misinformation and harmful conspiracy theories, but The XYZ has deemed this story vital to the public interest.

From Daily Mail:

A woman who set her hair with Gorilla Glue after running out of hair spray has reportedly hired a lawyer to sue the company after a lengthy trip to the emergency room to remove the product proved to be unsuccessful.

Tessica Brown, 40, from Violet, Louisiana, spent 22 hours in the ER, where baffled healthcare workers put acetone on her head according to TMZ, but nothing seems to work.

Sources told the publication that the acetone burned her scalp and only made the glue sticky before it dried up again, leaving her with the same immovable hair she started with. 

Tessica, who has been stuck with the same hairdo for a month, was reportedly advised to keep trying the acetone at home. On Sunday, she shared a photo of her sterile water and nail polish remover wipes. 

‘This is really about to be a long process,’ she wrote.

Gorilla Glue suggested she try using rubbing alcohol to remove the glue, and Tessica previously posted footage of her friend attempting the at-home solution to no avail.

TMZ reported that Tessica has hired an attorney and looking into her legal options against Gorilla Glue because she thinks the spray adhesive’s label is misleading. 

The front of the Gorilla Glue adhesive spray bottle says it bonds fabric, paper, wood, metal, and more. While the label states it’s an eye and skin irritant, it doesn’t specifically mention hair. 

The company has responded with the following statement on social media.

A spokesman has followed up this initial statement with more practical measures:

Look, we all know black people have on average a lower IQ than other races. IQ tests have proved this conclusively for decades now.

Above a certain average IQ, one can generally assume that if a warning label on a product tells you that it is generally used on things such as paper, wood, fabric, etc, and not to swallow it or get it in one’s eyes, one would not use it in one’s hair.

Unfortunately, below a certain average IQ, there is simply no way you can train people not to do this, hence why we have included the warning, in large font, “Not to be used by black people”.

The XYZ understands that several countries in Eastern Europe are considering applying similar warning labels to their entire land mass.

It’s your XYZ.