How Dare You, Greta


Let’s get one thing absolutely clear; Greta Thunberg is a woman for our times. I don’t consider her to be a child as 16 is about the emotional maturity that most women reach and never progress from over the course of their lives. She is a woman for our times because her scolding, condescending and unintelligent emotional blather perfectly encapsulates the feminist matriarchy in which we currently suffer.

Up to today I had managed to ignore this idiot woman, but the guys over at Men of the West posted a synopsis of the climate shenanigans going on at the UN and I decided to watch the video of her addressing the esteemed UN body.

Look, I starred in a few school plays and I can tell you right now that this sort of miserable acting performance would have had our year 10 drama teacher going ballistic at this misbegotten excuse for thespian talent. All they need to do to wrap things up is to make a movie about her life and get the talentless Brie Larson to perform the starring role, as the acting performances will be on par with one another.

“You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words.”

Says the teenage woman from the most privileged generation in history from one of the most privileged nations on the planet. Just how has her childhood been stolen? What privations has she had to live through? What lack or want has she suffered? Which climatic disasters has she specifically had to survive? I mean, sure, she’s had to survive her communist parents, but that’s not so unusual these days; a bunch of us had to do it. Yes, the left has a long history of using teenage blondes to push their radical agendas. But at least the teenage blondes in the past were relatively good looking and bonkable. This Asperger’s-riddled harridan is really quite a poor excuse for a pin-up climate chick.

Why can’t the left at least have some fun with it? Why not pin-ups for climate change or hawt chicks for climate change? No, it has to be teenage Swedish scolds whose hobbies including knitting, vomiting and flying to the moon, who we have to suffer through. The most repeated part of her speech was the following line:

“How dare you.”

She said it a lot. Many times. I know because I took a shot of rhum every time she said it and I can tell you that I got rather blitzed. How dare we? How dare you and your communist handlers, you stupid Swedish bint. How dare you catch a million dollar yacht provided for you by the Monaco Royal family for your little Atlantic jaunt and then look down on us peasants for wanting to heat our homes. How dare you think that we are so stupid to fall for your fake and patronising alarmist attitude. How dare you be so blindingly unattractive that I’ve lost my appetite completely after watching your prune face contort itself into hilarious parodies of what is supposed to be an “angry young woman concerned about the environment”.

“We’ll be watching you” she finished off with. Yes, sweetheart, we know that you and your cohorts are watching. You’re socialist pigs and that’s all you’re good at. And anyway, if you’re so concerned about the fucking climate why don’t you go out and do something about it? I mean, you’re buddies with royal families for fuck’s sake. Surely they’ve got the resources to do something about climate change. Go out and change the weather if you think that you’re up to it. Let us know how you go.

“Ooh, Bethal, it’s a really cold day today. I guess that Greta really got some changes made on the climate. What a dear she is. Don’t mind me, I’m just freezing to death over here.”

The only thing that this woman should be watching is the loony bus as it departs after dropping her off at the local loony bin asylum. A lot of commentators have expressed the opinion that they feel sorry for her. Well, I don’t feel sorry for her; I hate the bitch. She’s our undisputed enemy. She wants to take us back to the stone age, and you know what, I kinda take exception to that. I like being able to drive my car, and heat my home, and store my food in a fridge. It’s a big deal to me. And if some teenage trollop is going to go around saying that we have to change that and that she’ll be watching, well, maybe I’ll be watching too. Will she and her cohorts expect us all to eat cake when we’re starving to death? Hmm?

This is an excert of an article which was originally published at on 27/9/2019, where Adam Piggott publishes regularly and brilliantly. You can purchase Adam’s books here.