Pretty Wally


Since Yassmin Abdel-Magied burst on the scene, poor Wally has been suffering a mild case of Sudden insignificance Syndrome. Celebrities have been known to resort to drastic measures when hit with this affliction. Thus to avert a potential Waleed Aly sex-tape, our resident poet has penned the following ditty:

Pretty Wally: To the tune of Pretty Woman

Waleed Aly, banging on your drum,

Waleed Aly, every jihadists’ chum,

Waleed Aly, I don’t believe you can speak the truth

No one can talk more shit than you.


Waleed Aly, the crap you speak.

Waleed Aly, just makes you reek

Waleed Aly of porky pies topped with bacon

‘Cause you are the king of fakin’




Waleed Aly stop awhile,

Give us a rest from your taqiyya smiles

Stop spreading ‘round your verbal piles

To me.


Don’t be a taqiyya tart all your life

Hiding behind the scarf of your wife

Open your eyes to your words of strife and see-ee


That no one, likes you

Or the crap that you’re preaching,

Just give it a rest,

Stuff your taqiyya teaching


Waleed Aly, you’re a Moslem flog

Waleed Aly, call off your lying dog

Waleed Aly; just walk awayayay


Just go and don’t come back

‘Cause with you we’ve had the jack

Why can’t you see???


If you were on fire I wouldn’t pee

On youuuuu, oh, Waleed Aly.


Photo by cedarsx