Recently our totally impartial, non-partisan, completely unbiased public broadcaster found itself with a significant vacancy to fill, that of chief political correspondent for the prestigious 7.30 program.
Sadly the ABC, despite its world famous commitment to unprejudiced and even-handed political commentary, has been unjustly criticised by some intemperate sections of the community (probably stirred up by that fascist Rupert Murdoch) for a perceived tendency to lean ever so slightly to the left.
You might think that being aware of these misguided community concerns, those making the hiring decisions at the ABC would feel under pressure to fill this role with a token right-wing extremist. That they might feel compelled to undermine the legendary quality of the nation’s most trusted voice on news and current affairs by choosing a candidate based not on the basis of merit but rather on some ill-advised notion of bringing “balance” to the network’s political reporting.
After decades of attacks by evil conservatives who want to turn the beloved voice of “Aunty” into a right-wing propaganda network no better than the common muck produced by the philistine troglodytes at the profit driven commercial stations, one might worry that the guardians of quality, independent broadcasting might be wavering in their steadfast defence of our nation’s most treasured institution.
But never fear dear reader, they hired Laura Tingle.
The same Laura Tingle who published an article in February last year in the AFR (titled Tony Abbott: Even his friends now say he is a liar and a clunkhead) which opened by comparing the former Prime Minister to Stalin, before proceeding to unleash a not-exactly-complimentary word salad about the member for Warringah including:
“..an utter destructive force … an utter waste of space … not much to recommend him … no-one remembers anything particularly positive … feral … deadly … negativism …. firmly set on a path of destruction … negative … destructive … truly deluded … disingenuous, hypocritical and dishonest … leaves a stinking pile of loopy policy ideas steaming on the footpath … simplistic … deluded… unfashionable..”
If you read that and other articles by the same writer, your first impression is quite naturally to be stunned by the sheer verbosity and talent evident in Ms Tingle’s prose. Your second impression would probably be to conclude that Ms Tingle is ever-so-slightly hostile towards almost anyone and anything right of centre.
In fact her attitude towards anything to the right of the Labor party can be best summed up as a burning hate packed hate chest covered in hate carvings and filled with fiery and unyielding hatred flavoured hate.
Fortunately, these views were not held against her when under consideration for the highly sought after and influential role of chief political correspondent for the ABC’s premier nightly current affairs program.
But sadly this hiring may lead those right-wing partisan fruitcakes (all in the pay of the evil puppet master Murdoch) who persist against all the evidence in calling the ABC biased, to say that hiring another left winger only perpetuates the lack of balance at the broadcaster.
Some hot-headed reprobates riled up on whatever poor people drink these days may even call for the paltry billion dollar per annum budget (that the ABC only just manages to subsist on) to be trimmed back or cut altogether!
This is of course ridiculous, and so the question of any political bias needs to be put to bed now.
Certainly the ABC does employ a few presenters who are well known in their sympathies towards the kinder, gentler and fact based Left side of politics such as Tony Jones, Jon Faine, Emma Alberici, Paul Barry, Sarah Ferguson, Mark Colvin, Jonathan Green, Fran Kelly, Sabra Lane, Robyn Williams, Wendy Harmer, Phillip Adams, Sophie McNeil, Raf Epstien, Annabel Crabb, Barrie Cassidy, Scott Stephens, Richard Glover and Waleed Aly.
But they let Tom Switzer do a show on Radio National! He’s from the Institute for Public Affairs and once said he didn’t like gay marriage!
He’s practically a Nazi!
See? No bias at all!
After all, even Malcolm Turnbull says the ABC isn’t biased, and he’s the most right wing person most ABC presenters would allow in the front doorway of their house (just the doorway, not IN the house obviously).
And can the ABC help it if all the intelligent, insightful, talented people willing to work thanklessly in prestigious positions for hundreds of thousands of dollars a year (without ever having to worry about silly little things like ratings) are Left of centre?
Right wingers just need to try harder.
Bias? What balderdash!
Photo by Crawford Australian Leadership Forum