The gol
den person of Australian swimming is making a stunning Olympics comeback. Officials have bent the rules in a stunning show of progressiveness to not only let Thorpey compete, but to compete in the true gender which he currently self-identifies as.
Insiders have revealed that Thorpey was subjected to male bullying in the pool, which caused his latest comeback to be a damp squib. He has entered all female events and is also enrolled in the Paralympics in all available genders. This is due to the fact that he sometimes feels crippled – which is a chronic disability. Some days he feels he has no penis, some days she feels she has no legs, some days it feels it is competing without arms nor legs.
In unrelated news, Lance Armstrong is making a comeback to cycling, based on the breaking news that he felt he was not a drug cheat.
Photo by Doha Stadium Plus 
