Breaking: Tony Abbott to retire!


imageIn a shocking revelation, XYZ has learnt that former Prime Minister Tony Abbott will retire from politics due to racist booing.

The former Prime Minister was subject to bullying from the media and in his workplace, most notably from the heckles of Senator Di Natale.

Furthermore, the AFL has offered to single out from video footage members of the public who have openly worn and offered for sale and distribution t-shirts with Abbot’s name and image, imploring the world at large to sexually assault the man.

It’s a shocking revelation and casts Abbott firmly in the spotlight as a victim who has been abused by many of the people who are self proclaimed social justice warriors.

The XYZ has learnt that many of these SJW’s will be implored to subject themselves to summary trial and execution, as per the ethical standards they hold others to.

Adam Goodes was unavailable for comment.