Australian Muslim community accepts responsibility for murder by white Swedish Nazi


5650In a dramatic turn of events, the Australian Muslim community has accepted responsibility for yesterday’s murder in Sweden of a teacher and a student by a Swedish man brandishing a sword, after it was revealed that he was not a Muslim, but had a keen interest in Nazi Germany and Adolf Hitler.

After initially calling for more genuine dialogue, amid initial suspicions that the sword wielding murderer was a Muslim, a spokesperson for the Australian Muslim community said that “when the facts change, we change our mind.”  The spokesperson explained:

“If the Australian Muslim community is not responsible, but instead calls for more genuine dialogue from the government, whenever a Muslim commits violence against Western interests in the name of Islam, it is only logical that whenever a white person commits murder in the name of national socialism, the Australian Muslim community must be at fault.  It is with such irrefutable logic behind us that we must express our sincerest apology to the Swedish people for the murder committed by this white Nazi.

“On behalf of the Australian Muslim community, we are sorry.”

“We would also like to suggest that this sort of thing can be avoided in the future if the community can spend more time talking to white Nazis, not about them.”

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David has studied history and political science at Melbourne University. His thesis was written on how the utilisation of Missile Defence can help to achieve nuclear disarmament. His interest in history was piqued by playing a flight simulator computer game about the Battle of Britain, and he hopes to one day siphon the earnings from his political writings into funding the greatest prog-rock concept album the world has ever seen.