XYZ pledges to re-open ‘ABC shops’


The ABC has announced today it plans to close its ABC shops in a step to move sales online.

The Australian newspaper reported t400px-Michael_Crawford_(6837699994)hat about 300 jobs will be lost, “amid plummeting CD and DVD sales.”

The XYZ pledges to re-open retail stores in the wake of the ABC’s announcement in order to serve the needs of Australian public.

The editors of the XYZ stated that “once the Federal Government restores the balance to Australia’s tax payer funded media, and provides the XYZ with half of the ABC’s budget, we will take steps to reopen the retail branches.”

“We will be able to return ABC (or XYZ shops) to viability with fresh ideas and innovative products.

Obviously, if a business is unviable, the market hath spoken, but at XYZ, we believe the missing ingredient in making the ABC shops successful was people in charge who actually believe in the free market.”

It’s your XYZ

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Jeremy has worked as a kitchen hand, labourer and in policy development, and now prefers to focus his energies working with refugee and other disadvantaged communities. He enjoys boxing but isn't very good at it, and is a professional insomniac. Jeremy will know that he has "made it" when his opponents refer to him as a "pseudo-intellectual."