Johnson quits cricket – cites English crowds’ taunts – branded racist


Australian fast bowler Mitchell Johnson has announced his retirement today, effective immediately, citing the merciless ribbing he receives from British fans every time he takes the field. After a particularly horrendous Test match at Edgbaston, Johnson said that the constant bullying finally became too much.

Every time Mitchell Johnson bowls against England, its Barmy Army sings the following song:

“He bowls to the left
He bowls to the right
That Mitchell Johnson
His bowling is shite!”

Naturally, and rightly, he has been branded a racist, given that as an Australian, he should welcome having his privilege challenged.

The AFL, which has already issued several important social engineering directives this week mandating tolerance in the public arena, has savaged the pettiness of Mitchell Johnson’s decision. An AFL “spokesperson” stated:

“Mitchell Johnson, in taking his bat and ball and going home, is rejecting the opportunity to embrace the unique cultural experience the English fans were freely offering to rub into his little white face, in the form of 6 hours a day of brutal, deeply personal bullying in his workplace. The fact that he has acted in such a bigoted manner shows that as a society, we still have a long way to go.”

A typical example of Johnson’s hateful attitude occurred during the third session on Day 2 of the Edgbaston Test. Johnson misfielded a ball directly in front of the most vocal and cultural of the English fans, at which he was immediately jeered. A couple of balls later, a shot was directed in Johnson’s direction again – fielding correctly this time, he snuck a look at the Barmy Army, before firing a miscued powerful throw over his wicketkeeper’s head. Although no overthrows resulted, this micro-aggression by Johnson was clearly unacceptable.

Uncertainty remains as to whether his claims of being fed up with so-called “workplace bullying” by English fans is really a smokescreen for the fact that Cricket Australia asked him to leave, following this clear breach of its diversity policy.

It’s your XYZ.