“Pepper spray me you bitch, I’ll fuck your wife”: Diversity returns to Melbourne post-lockdown

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Before Melbourne became the most locked down city on the planet, it was a multicultural paradise where communities from across the world gathered to enrich each other with their respective cultures.

Nothing bad ever happened.

The only question we asked ourselves was, if it works so well here, why don’t we bring in even more diversity?

***Sarcasm mode off***

What appears to have happened is that a bunch of arabs punched on with a bunch of africans on Melbourne Cup Day on Tuesday at St Kilda Beach. Zekria Tawafi posted this video of the incident on TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@zekria.tawafi/video/7025893438751067394?_d=secCgwIARCbDRjEFSADKAESPgo8WOosvt%2BZgzixIblFLlHV5kJUL4YWaYJEnJzoKm5VmFIEtvKZmd0kqjuoV9k92Hy2ctCQCVLq%2BWTxHkjYGgA%3D&language=en&preview_pb=0&share_app_id=1233&share_item_id=7025893438751067394&share_link_id=519229c5-1a85-4d59-9f1e-37432818f192&source=h5_m&timestamp=1635938297&u_code=0&utm_campaign=client_share&utm_medium=android&utm_source=copy&_r=1

Hilariously, his barb “pepper spray me you bitch, I’ll fuck your wife” appears to have been directed at a female police officer.

I don’t get it. The coloured people aren’t scared of my pepper spray. What do I do now?

Daniel Andrews’ security forces must be in a terrible conundrum. For 18 months they have been happily bashing ordinary Australians at will with absolutely no scrutiny from either the Lying Press or their superiors. All of a sudden they are back to where they were pre-Covid, being forced to keep the peace between warring clans, neither of whom they are allowed to touch.

The horses must have been terribly confused as to why their riders aren’t simply trying to drive the foreign invaders into Port Phillip Bay.

We long for just one good charge under cannon fire.

The soy-dependent Anglo residents of St Kilda were left to clean up the mess.

We need more police to protect us because we get confused when the diversity turns on us and we just don’t understand what’s going on. Seriously, my respectful relationships training never prepared me for any of this.

Naturally, the Lying Press has made little to no reference of these important demographic fissures which caused the entire debacle. All up, considering this seems to have been a fight between arabs, africans and Victoria Police it is a shame we couldn’t have just fenced the whole thing off.

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