Ambulance Victoria can’t get its facts straight on Dan’s Fall


Daniel Andrews hogged the TV for most of 2020 during the ridiculous Victorian lockdowns.

But then Dick Ears had a great fall and we haven’t heard peep from him since, except for four photos posted to social media. A few days ago a photo purported to be of the premier having a haircut showed his eyes covered.

This fuelled further speculation, amid rumours of a possible charge of mass industrial slaughter for the 800+ coronavirus deaths last year, and allegations of inappropriate conduct toward a 17 year old girl followed by a very severe bashing.

So another photo emerged of a rather disheveled Dan which did precisely nothing to dispel the rumours.

The stakes were now raised with the Victorian opposition getting involved, labelling the affair a cover up.

So Dan’s remaining henchmen dutifully took to Twitter to denounce curious people who have been asking perfectly reasonable questions as conspiracy theorists.

They pulled out their big gun, a statement from Ambulance Victoria, claiming they attended him on 9 March.

But somebody has made a stuff up. The media reported Daniel Andrews’ fall on 8 March.

It is clear that somebody in the Andrews camp pulled a massive favour with the Ambulance Union, who just so happened to be the number one factor in Dirty Dan getting elected in the first place. Either nobody bothered to double check the statement, such was their haste to cover their arses, or somebody in the Ambulance Union didn’t like being told what to do.

With every passing hour, the only conspiracy out there seems to be the very real conspiracy of silence surrounding the complete disappearance of Daniel Andrews.