Breaking: South Africa bans white people from using boats


5012390517_ac4a971a5b_Pinta-niñaHuman Rights activists the world over are praising the South African government for what has been hailed as a ‘revolutionary policy to inflict retribution for real and perceived injustices of the past,’ in banning all white people from using boats. Government officials have emphasised the historical importance of boats in transporting Europeans around the Earth during the so-called Age of Discovery and the subsequent Age of Imperialism, their use in the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade, and ‘the transmution of white, European racism across the globe.’

White people in South Africa have been banned from using boats of any kind for any purpose whatsoever. International ships bearing a crew of more than 15% white people have been forbidden from docking in South African ports, while for those that don’t, white sailors are not allowed to disembark.

US and European academics have stated that it is important to understand the historical context of such a decision. For years, South Africa was ruled by the racist white Apartheid government, followed by a socialist ANC government which under Thabo Mbeki denied for years the existence of AIDS, and oversaw the steady decline of what was once the strongest economy in Africa. Thus, the policy of removal of white boating rights should be seen in the same light as the campaign in South African universities to remove statues of Cecil Rhodes – an important step in laying down the foundations of the Rainbow Nation, based on Tolerance and Inclusivity.

The policy itself is believed to be inspired by the work of the American ethno-historiologist Mamy Blackackston, who heads the Department of Whiteness Studies at a prestigious US university. Her papers, such as ‘White people came by boats: Therefore boats are racist”, and ‘The re-imagining, re-interpreting and reclaiming of the idea of aquatic transportation in a post white-boat future”, have played a key role in the linking of boats, white people and racism:

‘Practically all the discourse surrounding the idea of ‘the boat’ up until recent decades has been racist. Obvious examples include the exportation of racism to the world via the use of boats to transport white people and their racism from their small, insignificant racist origin in racist Europe, to the previously racism-free lands of the so-called ‘New World’ as well as Africa, Asia, Australia and the Pacific.

‘The transportation of black slaves from Africa to racist colonial outposts around the world is perhaps the most egregious example of the link between boats, white people and racism. This must of course be distinguished from the non-racist slave trade which had been controlled for many centuries previously by the non-racist islamic Caliphates, of which the specific cultural, societal and ritual origins the racist white European mind is unable to fathom.

‘Unknown to most stupid white Europeans are the subconscious and unconscious ways in which the link between boats, white people and racism continues to this day. The racist, white bourgeois today use sailboats as a form of sport and relaxation, unaware of their link to the racist use of sailboats in the past for the spreading of racist colonialism and racist slavery. Racist white capitalists exploit, and have exploited, boats to rape the ocean of her life energy force, although we must be grateful that she has often struck back at the stupid white racist men to destroy many of their racist boats.’

The campaign by Professor Blackackston and the dynamic social engineering of the South African government has inspired social justice warriors on numerous university campuses in the United States to lobby for ‘white-boat free zones’ while activists in several north-eastern states, as well as the European Union, are encouraging legislators to explore ways they can combat racism by removing white-boating rights.  Replicas of the Niña, Pinta and Santa Maria have been vandalised or damaged by fire, while Facebook pages and the Twitter hashtag #BurnNiña have taken social media by storm. Meanwhile, the UN General Assembly, in its latest condemnation of Israel, attached provisions to change the name of ‘boat’ altogether, so as to sever all connections to any possible racist connotations. The new name of ‘envoy of racism’ (‘la envoy de la racisme de nuestra’ in Spanish, or ‘vestichigurburtsdevonraschisme’ in German, is expected to be voted in next month with little resistance.

Several feminists in Australia have demonstrated just how thoroughly our historical conception of ‘the boat’ has been warped by our racist, patrio-capitalist society, by advocating for a complete redesign of ‘envoys of racism.’ The millennia old design of a long, pointed construction which penetrates any body of water unfortunate enough to lie in its path has been deemed ‘to be shaped too much like a penis’ Instead, a completely round design, avoiding all pointed edges, is in the initial stages of development. Its propulsion system is believed to be a prototype design whereby its passengers, consisting of all ethnically diverse females, communicate via telepathy with the water around it, gaining permission to move forward on a completely voluntary and mutual basis.

A highly respected ‘progressive’ statesperson has concluded that given these pending improvements in the realm of nautical transportation are ‘completely impractical, likely to devastate international trade, likely to disproportionately hurt the poor of the third world, a dangerous misrepresentation historical fact, a further preparation for the genocide of the white race, and is, well, just plain silly,’ he expects ‘progressives’ everywhere to adopt the removal of white boating rights as a standard condition of acceptance as a tolerant human being.

Photo by minnemom