60 fallen trees remembered as ‘some of nature’s true gentlemen’


e835b8082cf4083ecd0b470de7444e90fe76e6d01bb8134597f4c8_640_FuneralA funeral was held in Sydney today for 60 trees, felled by infrastructure building zealots in one of the worst outbreaks of mass violence against foliage in recent memory.

The trees were remembered as being large and green, with brown trunks, and lauded for generously offering plentiful shade to many Sydneysiders over the years. Said one mourner, ‘these were some of nature’s true gentlemen, they never had a bad word to say about anybody, in fact they never uttered a word at all.’ A high priestess of the Green religion invoked the blessing of Gaia upon the crowd of mourners following tearful tributes from a number of locals who had known one or more of the trees intimately.

Among the human mourners were also several members of the canine family concerned about the removal of public amenities. Family members of the 60 trees were contacted for comment but at the time of going to print had not responded.