Wally of the Year: The Islamic (don’t call us Daesh) State

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The Islamic (don’t call us Daesh) State has provided us with no end of hilarilty this year. Barack Obama’s JV Team have presented us with callow faced Eminem lookalikes, the mysterious “evaporated” jihadist, and regular threats of impending doom. The XYZ is not the only dark recess of the internet to always look on the bright side of Daesh, with these marvellous people turning Islamic (don’t call us Daesh) State losers into ducks.

If anything, we really should be thanking Daesh, for all they have given us. Without them, XYZ readership would probably number, oh, let’s say, three-ish…

This XYZ editor in particular had been a little wary of the term “Daesh” as I felt that the term conveniently avoided the term “Islamic” when used for a Western audience, and thus a) maintained the false narrative that the Islamic (don’t call us Daesh) State is not Islamic, and b) maintained the false narrative that Islam is not, at its core, violent.

However, I was delighted to be informed that Tony Abbott deliberately used the term, precisely because the Islamic (don’t call us Daesh) State, don’t like being called it. Apparently, The Islamic (don’t call us Daesh) State take themselves so seriously, that being called anything other than the tirelessly long title they have devised for themselves is an insult. So seriously in fact, that they threatened to cut off the head of anyone who says Daesh.

On a serious note, it is at such a point that we in the free speaking West are compelled to use the term for the same reason that we are compelled to display images of Mohammed – if we are told by despots we are not allowed to say or do something, because if we do, they will kill us, it becomes our duty toward liberty to say or do that which they forbid.

image45-272x300Anyway, such an epic dummy spit earned the Islamic (don’t call us Daesh) State The XYZ Wally of the Week, named after everybody’s favourite muslim apologist, Waleed Aly (TM) back in November. And it is with great satisfaction that we announce that the Islamic (don’t call us Daesh) State, has narrowly beaten some very idiotic contenders, including the WHO who tried to ban bacon, and a (former) terrorist support who is convinced that one day he will have his own show, to claim the inaugural XYZ Wally of the Year, named after everyone’s favourite muslim apologist, Waleed Aly (TM).

To Daesh, we say, thank you. Bunch of numpties.

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David Hiscox
David has studied history and political science at Melbourne University. His thesis was written on how the utilisation of Missile Defence can help to achieve nuclear disarmament. His interest in history was piqued by playing a flight simulator computer game about the Battle of Britain, and he hopes to one day siphon the earnings from his political writings into funding the greatest prog-rock concept album the world has ever seen.