In a stunning policy development, UN President Barack Obama has launched an innovative new initiative to help curb violent extremism. The Dear Leader explained thusly:
‘We all know that islam has nothing to do with violent extremism, and violent extremism has nothing to do with islam. It is therefore true that no muslim has ever committed an act of violent extremism, as no one could commit an act of violent extremism and call themselves a muslim.
‘As my girlfriend, Malcolm Turnbull has pointed out, those who commit violent extremism in the name of islam in fact blaspheme the religion of peace.
‘It is therefore logical that 100% of violent extremism is committed by non-muslims. This insight provides the key for stamping out violent extremism, once and for all. I am announcing today the creation of a Violent Extremism Watch-List, which will gather intelligence on all non-muslims, given that, statistically speaking, they are the group most likely to commit acts of violent extremism.’
The New York Times has hailed the move as a stroke of genius, with one commentator opining, ‘this is the sort of brilliance, which when revealed, seems so obvious that we wonder how nobody came up with this before.’
A spokesperson for the Obama administration later outlined more details regarding the implementation of such a policy, which includes the placing of CCTV in every room of every house of every non-muslim, as well as in random scrubland. Ze also stated that some in the hate media who have labelled this new policy as “profiling of non-muslims” are racist bigots who are encouraging violent extremism, and have been arrested and shot on sight.
It’s your XYZ.
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