The winter of our discontent


The City of Melbourne has experienced its coldest winter in 26 years.
The news was eagerly anticipated by the scientific and environmental activist community, who had been monitoring the trend with growing alarm.

‘It was a close call,’ one veteran Greenpeace activist told XYZ, ‘to change the global rhetoric away from “global warming” and to “climate change” took a sustained effort by a lot of people in a relatively short space of time. But we got there.’

The cold winter is a potential boom too for the research grant submitting season, with the shift in rhetoric enabling scientists to claim, with straight faces, that both hot summers and cold winters are, in fact, irrefutable evidence of climate change. As one scientist told us, speaking on the condition of anonymity – ‘we could not have claimed many grants to research global warming in the middle of the coldest winter in 26 years now, could we? The people are not that stupid, even if the left wing media is.’


Melbourne shivers through coldest winter in 26 years, no warm start to Spring in sight