What a drag!


What a drag! (excuse gratuitous pun). To be in Glasgow for the Pride march, and the series of associated events, to have sat at the mirror for hours caking on the makeup, done up the high heels, put on the outrageously flambouyant evening dress, dropped a tube of lube into the Gucci accessory, and, OMG, KMDWAF (* “knock me down with a feather”), then call my therapist – no f…ing drag queens at a f…ing pride march. Que? WTF?

But yes, alas (insert high pitched squeal of frustration here) for this is so. No men dressed as girls will be gracing the pride pavement in Glasgow this year. As one of the organisers tearfully told a press conference:

“The decision was taken by transgender individuals who were uncomfortable with having drag performances at the event. It was felt that it would make some of those who were transgender or questioning their gender uncomfortable.”

Well, punch me in the face unless I palm slap my own forehead vigorously several times in quick succession. How could anyone not have seen this one coming? (no pun intended). If you say the transgender people are “uncomfortable” then that settles it then. We can’t have anyone feeling uncomfortable or (God forbid) offended at a pride march. And since we’re taking feedback on the offense taking, how long until the Pangender people, or the Gender Curious mob, or the “waiting for the op” cohort, crack the sads, and get all uncomfortable, with the boring conservative toffs who just describe themselves as plain old boring gay? I mean, can’t these lifeless lards even manage to put a pronominal “trans” in their self description somewhere?

So now that the pride marchers are offending each other, how long will it be until everyone is so offended, and unbearably uncomfortable, that no one will be welcome at the march at all, and it will end up looking like a gay marriage bucks night the local mosque? For Glasgow, the economic ruin will be, well, ruinous – the bottom will surely fall out the market for black leather trousers with the arse cut out of them (pun intended). What a drag!