Tar baby


Grandma came to see
Something she could not believe
How could her girl be
So naive
Tar baby, tar baby
Told the secret she conceived        
Sade 1985.

Meghan Markle.

Prince Harry is getting married to an American actress, one Meghan Markle, (rhymes with sparkle). Sounds like a recipe for 50 years of domestic bliss. Not to mention that the Royal Family’s personal finances will now be exposed to the US tax system. But love conquers all, I suppose. At least she’s not an American heiress, but she is a divorcee. Still, it seems to me that Prince Harry has never got over the death of his mother. Why else would he choose to marry a woman three years older than him who is about to hit the wall hard?

You have to hand it to Markle; she is an inspiration for 36 year old over the hill women everywhere who believed that they could have it all – because she really does. She landed a prince.

Although, there are some dire warning signs that the woman might be a somewhat unstable choice of wife.

“Markle has been a women’s rights activist since she was 11 years old. During an eloquent speech at a UN Women’s event in 2015, she recalled the story of her war against a detergent ad, which had the tagline “Women all over America are fighting greasy pots and pans”.

That’s bad enough, (not to mention the fact that she is an actress; typically the most unstable women that you will ever have the misfortune to meet.) But Markle has some other issues that shed light on the wonderful world of multiculturalism and diversity.

“In a 2015 article for Elle magazine revealed that she is often asked, “What are you?” She replies with characteristic candour.

“‘Well,’ I say, as I begin the verbal dance I know all too well. ‘I’m an actress, a writer, the editor-in-chief of my lifestyle brand The Tig, a pretty good cook and a firm believer in handwritten notes.’

“But here’s what happens: they smile and nod politely, maybe even chuckle, before getting to their point, ‘Right, but what are you? Where are your parents from?’ I knew it was coming, I always do….

“I… give them what they’re after: ‘My dad is Caucasian and my mom is African American. I’m half black and half white’.”

“She then cited a mandatory census she had to complete in her Year 7 English class where she was told to check one of the boxes to indicate her ethnicity. Sadly, her choices were limited to white, black, Hispanic or Asian.

“There I was (my curly hair, my freckled face, my pale skin, my mixed race) looking down at these boxes, not wanting to mess up, but not knowing what to do. You could only choose one, but that would be to choose one parent over the other – and one half of myself over the other…

“I didn’t tick a box. I left my identity blank – a question mark, an absolute incomplete – much like how I felt. When I went home that night, I told my dad what had happened. He said the words that have always stayed with me: ‘If that happens again, you draw your own box’.”

Being half black and half white, or any other mix of racial stew pots, might make virtue-signaling parents feel amazing but it doesn’t do very much for the children of such ill-considered unions. As Sade wrote over 30 years ago in her song Tar Baby, Grandma wasn’t too impressed when she found out that her granddaughter had been mixing the brew, so to speak. I wonder what another more famous grandmother feels about the impending nuptials in her own family?

As humans we want to belong. People crave this throughout their lives, which is why people of ethnic groups that emigrate to a foreign country always cluster together. But ‘half black and half white’ is simply two halves of not belonging. And as for her father’s lesson to ‘go draw your own box,’ that is all well and good when he himself has no need for such an action. His ridiculous and puerile words have always stayed with Markle because being a human without a clan is a very big deal indeed. She is no doubt in a constant state of needing to convince herself that she is okay with her father’s selfish and ill-considered act that brought her into this world.

Nobody wants to be a tar baby. Not even a future princess.

This article was originally published at https://pushingrubberdownhill.com/, where Adam Piggott publishes regularly and brilliantly. You can purchase Adam’s books here.

Photo by Genevieve719