I’ve been sitting on the following video for two weeks now, trying to work out the best way to approach it. It’s presented by Bettina Arndt, an Australian sex therapist, online dating coach, and now champion of men’s relationship issues. The video in question is titled, Bettina Arndt on today’s sex starved husbands, and needless to say, she gets everything wrong.
We don’t have to even get one minute into the video to realize that this woman has no idea of what she’s talking about. Like a hideous relationship destroyer, up bubbles the cringe-inducing word that scuttles all relationship help in its tracks:
As readers of the red pill manosphere know all too well, you cannot negotiate desire. By its very nature, desire is the opposite of negotiation. And yet here we have this self-proclaimed expert plowing ahead as she gamely positions herself to help men everywhere who are in the awful predicament of not being able to get their leg over with their own wives.
On and on she goes as she explains in torturous detail how she convinced couples to keep diaries so as to track how they negotiate their sex lives. The word comes up again and again. Arndt relies on the word almost as much as commuters rely on their smart phones.
The situations and examples that she describes in this video are nothing short of pathetic. Men groveling for sex, a wife informing her husband that he is allowed to have 50 thrusts as long as he does not jiggle the book that she is reading, husbands crying when faced with someone explaining their daily sexual misery.
And her brilliant analysis of these hopeless relationships? The reason why all of these wives don’t want sex with their husbands? Why, she relies on a great deal of documented research of course. It turns out that women’s libidos are very fragile things, like “damp wood” apparently, and it’s extraordinarily difficult to heat them up. She also believes that if both members of a couple want to fix the problem then it can actually be resolved, (red pill aware men know that this is very rarely the case).
All of the other sex therapists and researchers in the video that she quotes or refers to are also women. It’s a veritable battery of women who are out to save men and give them back some of their sex lives. Even Janice Fiamengo shows up in the comments to applaud Arndt’s courageous stance.
This of course is the main problem. As long as men listen to women then their problems will only compound and get worse. These long suffering men made their first mistakes when they listened to their wives. And yet here they are once again listening to a woman on the same subject. Don’t believe me? Scroll down and read some of the comments under that video, but just make sure you have a bucket ready at hand.
The true secret to all of this is the power dynamic. The key to this in the video is when Arndt mentions that these problems have been getting worse over the last 40 years, which coincidentally is the same arc of second and third wave feminism with all of its trappings of forcing men to listen to women, show them respect, earn their trust, consider their feelings, become sensitive and caring, and all of the other unmitigated bullshit which has done so much to cause misery for both men and women alike.
Arndt misses the true reasoning behind this, of course. In the last 40 years the power dynamic has shifted. Men are asking their wives for sex when in actual fact, in order to have a healthy sex life, it should be the wife chasing her husband for sex. Whoever needs sex the least holds the power balance, but this can only work harmoniously if it is in favor of the man.
This is to do with what men and women instinctively want out of a sexual encounter. Women want to be dominated and men want to dominate. Women can go on about how trust is so very important to them but as Roissy so eloquently puts it, that goes all out the window half an hour after she’s been picked up by a bad-boy biker in a pub and she’s having the best orgasms of her life while her legs are wrapped around the back of his neck. With nary an iota of trust in sight.
“Usually, when we restrict our range of options to women who are sexually unfulfilled, the men with whom these women have the most trouble having orgasms are the men women trust the most and know the longest: borefriends and hubbies.”
Bringing a woman to orgasm is a powerful act for a man. It signals that he has control over her. She is unable to control herself in bed with him and he has his way with her again and again until she is literally begging him to stop. There will be no evidence of book reading while this sort of thing is going on and usually she will have difficulty walking for a couple of days.
In other words, orgasms are not for women; they’re for men. An act of power and domination that function as a masculinity achievement. Don’t believe me? Well, there’s a study and everything.
A man who has entered a relationship and from the outset has attempted to be a “good man” and only respect his wife will quickly find that her libido dribbles out after a few months. She is not turned on by being in the position of power, with a groveling husband supplicating himself before her in an attempt to curry favor so that he may be gifted a quickie. For both sexes to be satisfied then this scenario needs to be completely turned around, and this can usually only be achieved with a fresh start, although in rare cases I have heard of husbands swallowing the red pill and turning their wives into suitable examples of sexual subservience.
But this sort of thing goes against the bread and butter routine of so-called sex therapists everywhere. And so we have women like Arndt who pushes her books and talks and all her other products as she deftly performs an act of seeming to have men’s best interests at heart while in reality the very best that could be said for her is that she is counter-productive.
That she is an enthusiastic supporter of the Red Pill documentary, an awful piece of drudge that I castigated here on its release, is not surprising. Contrary to popular belief, that film is not about men. Rather it is a story of a feminist’s “journey of self-discovery” as she attempts to reconcile her feelings with an inconvenient reality. If Arndt was honest then she would admit that her own motives are just as misguided. As usual it’s always about the women, even when they’re pretending otherwise.
The husbands in this situation though are not above criticism. Yes, they made a big mistake in gifting the power balance to their wives, but the fact remains that they are lazy in bed. If you’re not heading to the sack with the specific intention of making her orgasm again and again and again then you’re not doing your job properly. If it’s only about shooting your load then go and purchase one of those Japanese sex dolls. But if it’s about having a harmonious and satisfying sex life in a long term relationship then it’s a lot more than just getting her to say yes. You have to get her to say no and no and then no once again as she can’t take another one, it will just kill her, but then her noes turn to moans and you have her on the merry-go-around for another time as you relish in the power that you hold over her.
That is a sex life and that is the one and only goal that will guarantee that she keeps coming back for more. Make her orgasm against her will. She’ll thank you for it.