By Jack Tilley
Six lawyers, three Human Rights Commissioners and an Aborigine in a Pear Tree have been admitted to hospital suffering complete nervous breakdowns after viewing new video footage from the Don Dale Death Camp for Cute Little Boys and Girls.
Spokesperson for the swollen-hearted, Gillian Triggs, struggled to contain her deep and profound goodness as she addressed the media. “The abuse shown in these new videos is vastly more horrific than the unspeakably horrific things we saw on the ABC’s appallingly horrific broadcast. There are no words…not Hitler, not Stalin, not even John Howard (perhaps), has ever come near the level of barbaric atrocity taking place in this house of horrors. I…I…I simply cannot describe it…”
The President of the Human Rights Commission broke down in tears at this point. It was several minutes before she was able to muster a brave little smile, apologise for caring too damn much, and soldier on.
The media was as one in providing succour and a tissue to the distraught guardian of the downtrodden. But they did gently, reluctantly, press her for details. For the good of the poor little toddlers who were being murdered and bashed on an hourly basis, she had to give details. All the details.
“There was another room at Don Dale…” Ms Triggs began ominously. “A room no one wanted us to see. It was a bare white room with nothing in it but some washbasins and a row of small, nasty-smelling little cubicles. The boys were forced into these cubicles once, twice or, particularly on curry night, sometimes three times, a day. There was nothing in these cubicles other than a small, medieval-looking chair – I mean it hardly deserves the name of ‘chair’. Made of porcelain and plastic, with a great big hole in it, they looked dreadfully uncomfortable, and the boys were forced to strip half-naked and…and…sit on these chairs! They looked so miserable just sitting there.”
An aghast media, scribbling furiously, asked what exactly was going on in these isolation cells.
“Horrible, oh horrible,” said a visibly upset Commissioner. “The groans and other abominable noises coming from those cubicles—the poor, poor boys were obviously going through hell! And the stink! Dear Lord—are they boys or animals?! I think one lad tore his spit hood in two! The authorities running this facility obviously have no respect for the kids’ dignity or well-being. These awful isolation chambers with their hideous torture chairs must be shut down immediately, never ever to be used again!”
Several of the boys’ parents were also in attendance and when asked for their view, replied, “We’ve been tellin’ the State to clean up our boys’ s— since they were born—they’re bloody hopeless, they are!”
Photo by dirtyboxface 
