Absolutely, categorically the last XYZ article on what The Bible says about playing with your willy (maybe)


I was in a winter forest. Had I just been in a battle? Now I was alone. There was a frozen lake in front of me. I started to walk across it. I saw a figure in the distance. Blurry at first but coming towards me. It was a nurse on ice skates. The same nurse that looked after me when I was in hospital with a broken leg. Or one of the nurses. The pretty one. Stern though. She didn’t accept any nonsense. She was skating right towards me, closer and closer. My gaze went to her crotch. That’s all I could see. She collided with me!

There are very few dreams that I can remember. This one occurred when I was eleven years old and the reason I remember it was because it was my first wet dream. From playing soldiers to having the nurse from hospital suddenly turn up on an ice skating ring and attack me with her pussy, was quite a shock and I woke up instantly as she crashed into me. I thought I had pissed myself. I hadn’t done that since I was two years old.

Slowly I realised something else had happened. I didn’t know any of the facts about “the birds and the bees”. Something to do with babies coming out from between the mother’s legs. All sounded a bit yucky still and girls were stupid and kept wanting to play silly kissing games which would generally result in the boys running away and telling them they stank.

The onset of puberty crashed in like a ballon paint bomb in the middle of the night and life was never the same again.

The purpose of retelling this little embarrassing chapter in my life is to respond to Adam Piggott’s article on masturbation. Setting the scene if you will, with a contrast of male physical reality before putting things into Biblical context.

Adam stated that there was nothing in the Bible about wanking, but that’s not completely true. Leviticus chapter 15 verses 16-17, King James translation (so as to appease the Protestant purists):

16 And if any man’s seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even.
17 And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even.

So that night 43 years ago, I was a dirty, dirty boy! I washed my pyjamas and I washed myself. I was unclean until the next evening. As I was the subsequent occasions when I woke up all sticky. I didn’t particularly like waking up like that and after a while, I learned to take matters into my own hands, or right hand, so to speak.

So yes. I admit it. I’m a complete wanker. Well, I was. I’m married now and two and a half years ago I became a Christian and generally agree with Adam that men should not think it’s ok to jerk off.

So what’s the reason for writing a response to Adam’s article, if I agree with it? Mainly it is to make the point that scripture does indeed address the subject, even if it doesn’t specifically name it. I also wanted to point out the difference between how God’s Law treats this matter in comparison to other sexual sins.

In Chapter 20 of Leviticus God does specifically name all kinds of sexual sin and perversity. From adultery to homosexual sex. From incest to bestiality. The judgement is the same. It’s an “abomination” and anyone caught doing it should be put to death.

“Spilling” one’s seed, however it occurs, by contrast, is treated as a misdemeanour. You are “unclean” for the rest of the day. You should wash. You should atone. You should re establish your connection with God. Interestingly this is also true after sex with your spouse too. Note straight after the verses on spilling one’s seed, Leviticus chapter 15 verse 18:

18 The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.

This should make it clear that all sex involves sin. In this regard Adam would also be correct in his assertion that the only sex that one should ideally engage in is that between a man and a wife for the purposes of reproduction.

This is because original sin, engaged in by taking the forbidden fruit of knowledge of good and evil, strongly suggests a sexual component. The serpent, the fig leaves to cover up the shame of being naked afterwards. There is a lot of subtext in the book of Genesis, that people can and have pondered about the deeper meaning of, which may also be true, as well as the literal history of record.

After the fall, God still blesses marriage, but sin has corrupted all of us. We cannot escape our sinful nature and must continually be washed clean. First through the rituals commanded by the Law, later by the blood of Christ himself.

Speaking of Christ, He also has something to say on the subject of sexual sin. Matthew Chapter 5, verses 27-28:

27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Now again, what does God say the penalty for Adultery is, in Leviticus chapter 20? Yup! It deserves death!

So, yes, spilling your seed can be regarded as a misdemeanour, but what is in your heart, you filthy wanker? Are you jerking off to porn 5 times a day? Or have you been working away from your wife for six weeks and miss her? Either way you are unclean. If the latter, it’s not optimal, but it may be considered a lessor sin. Repent. Ask God for strength and to comfort you in your loneliness. But if the former, then you are constantly unclean. Also, you are committing an abomination in your heart and spiritually trying to connect to the whore you are jerking off to. As Adam said in another article, if you connect with that spirit, you are connecting to everyone that person has had sex with too. Such is the way to become possessed by demons. “We are legion”!

As far as I can discern from scripture sex with one’s spouse for “sport” is not forbidden and is not seen as more than a misdemeanour. God gave Eve to Adam (of the Bible, not Mr Piggott!) for a companion. The Union of marriage makes man and woman one flesh. Sarah laughs when told she will bare Abraham a son because they are so old, but they continue to have sex even though she thinks she can no longer bare children.

Whether the Catholics are correct and every sperm is sacred, or the Protestants are correct and you are free to go down to your local chemist and proudly ask for a French tickler condom for your John Thomas to use on your wife, I don’t know. I’m still a new Christian and learning all the time. This article is not about contraception. I will simply point out that white people need to have more babies, so once married, I’d err on the side of Catholics. But whether through Papal decree and tradition or sola-scriptura, there is instruction on the dangers of masturbation. On that subject, I don’t think the differences between the two denominations are greater than the similarities of the conclusions each reach.

So, don’t watch porn, don’t lust after women, find yourself a wife, have lots of white babies and in the morning when the alarm goes off, it’s wakey wakey, hands off snakey.

You can find Stephen Wells at Telegram and purchase his own books here.