A woman took her own life whilst trying to kill a police horse in Ottawa this weekend. The woman who was wearing an old person’s disguise hid behind a walker as police horse Fluffy came to nuzzle protestors and ask for sugar, police Chief Hannibal Lector told Canadian press:
“F-f-f-fff well Clarice, our cuddly force came in good faith to chat to protestors because they told us they wanted to negotiate and we came in good faith. But it was all a ruse. We were viciously attacked as the jihadi hurled the walker at Fluffy and then threw herself under his feet. It was an appalling display as her liver has been pulverised and is completely ruined for eating”.
The woman is described as appearing to be in her 70s but this is understood to be just part of her elaborate disguise.
Fluffy is now receiving horse counselling from Horse whisper Robert Redford, and a team of bootlickers has been employed to eat the mess from Fluffy’s shoes. They have been given a temporary mask exemption for the period.
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