PM suspends flights from India, says Indians are smelly

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Australia’s Prime Minister Scott Morrison has suspended all flights from India to Australia, saying that Indians eat too much curry and they smell like their food so they smell of curry.

He claimed the reason Indians use so much curry is to cover for the rank taste of the poor quality food they use.

Morrison further stated that Indian men deserve their bad reputation as sex pests whose sole idea of courtship is to message random White women asking to see bob and vegene. They also get very defensive when it is pointed out that they do not belong here:

“Seriously, they’re so proud of gaining independence from Great Britain but then they come here and say they have a deep connection to Australia because of their British Empire heritage. Come on guys, make up your minds.”

Indian women didn’t escape his criticism either, with the suggestion that many of them are very pushy:

“They come to a Western country which has a higher standard of living than India, it goes to their head and they want it all, they can become very demanding.

“Basically we have to stop thinking of ourselves as being enriched by Indians. What little culture they have is merely a degenerated version of the culture our Aryan ancestors established in the region thousands of years ago. So they are basically bringing us a poor photocopy of our own culture from lower genetic stock.”

When asked how these measures would help protect Australia from the coronavirus, the Prime Minister responded:

“Coronavirus?”

It’s your XYZ.

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David Hiscox
David has studied history and political science at Melbourne University. His thesis was written on how the utilisation of Missile Defence can help to achieve nuclear disarmament. His interest in history was piqued by playing a flight simulator computer game about the Battle of Britain, and he hopes to one day siphon the earnings from his political writings into funding the greatest prog-rock concept album the world has ever seen.