Eggboi Rhapsody

Cartoon by Ryan Fletcher.

Eggboi Rhapsody. (A soaring roller coaster ride of hot soy and blown yolk!)

Part the First: A Cowardly Act.

There once was a boy who ate much soy,
His name was Master Eggboi.
He got rather cut
When he threw a bum nut
And got slapped around like a toy.

Part the Second: The Wrath of Mummy

“What have you done you little cun’? “
Mama Eggboi did screech.
“I sold my soul for rock n roll
And one big overreach.”

“A load of rot you little snot.
You’re not man enough to roll.
You listen to rap because you’re a sap
And from behind you troll.

I’ll call you Prissy, you egg throwing sissy
Because you attack from behind.
You’re not brave enough for frontal stuff,
I doubt balls in ya jocks I’d find.”

“Yes but Mummy, I spat the dummy
‘Cause I love the Muzzie folk
And in a measure of self-righteous pleasure
I blew more than my yolk.

I signalled my virtue, so sorry I hurt you
But something huge had to be done.
Lest in a flash, six gorrillion to ash
By the words of the conservative one.”

Part the Third: No soy for thee!

So full of blame, head hung in shame,
‘Cause his mummy had him; chastised,
Went off to bed with his boyfriend instead,
Without the soy dinner he prized.

The End.