That Nasty Hanson Woman Causes Trouble over Terror


Pauline Hanson has again been attacked for that most heinous crime of inappropriately noticing things.

Silly Pauline has observed, in the light of the recent London terrorist attack, that nearly all such attacks in the last two decades or so come from a very particular demographic group, and that having large and rapidly increasing numbers of this demographic group in your country increases the likelihood of these attacks.

Clearly the woman is out of her mind.

Thankfully, our moral and intellectual betters in the journalism game, coupled with our erudite and wise elected politicians, have united across the partisan divide to tell that mad Pauline just how stupidly wrong she is.

After all, doesn’t she know that diversity is our strength?

In the wake of the unfortunate traffic accident outside of Westminster, Senator Hanson called for a ban on immigration for the followers of a certain faith. Something had somehow led her to believe that this action might decrease the probability of terrorist attacks, probably some Fake News put out by Russian hackers.

Fortunately Anthony Albanese from the Labor Party and Christopher Pyne of the Liberal Party were on hand to kindly and gently enlighten this clearly deranged and doddering old woman.

Anthony pointed out that banning further immigration from this demographic group wouldn’t have stopped the London attack, as the attacker, while belonging to that group, was born in England.

Albanese looked sad and sage-like, shaking his head as he speculated on the probable deficiencies of Senator Hanson’s personal character to have even considered making such a proposal.

In a shock twist, Christopher Pyne, winner of the award for the only Liberal Party MP to possess the appearance and bearing of a perpetually hyperactive puppy with a full bladder, furiously agreed with his political rival.

Pyne simultaneously ridiculed Hanson’s proposal and reassured an anxious public by declaring that any such immigration ban would fail to prevent future terror attacks, as many of those on the terror watch list were already citizens. I’m sure this comes as much of a relief to you as it did to me.

Christopher further echoed his putative political opponent by questioning the moral character of Senator Hanson for being so rude as to bring the subject up, and excitedly, although somewhat oddly, accusing her of wanting to deport Australian citizens.

Seemingly not wanting to be left out, Treasurer Scott Morrison also hit out at Pauline’s proposal, declaring her to be “reckless and irresponsible” and adding that this was not a time for pursuing politics but rather “a time for focusing on… ensuring that all Australians, every single Australian regardless of your race, your ethnicity, your background, your religion, is safe”.

I’m sure that Mr Morrison’s general commitment to the ecumenical non-discriminatory general protection of Australian residents in general is as much a comforting reassurance to you as it is to me.

Also reassuring is that the Federal government has ordered extra police be deployed to protect our Parliament House in Canberra and all those who scuttle within.

Even our Prime Minister has dipped his rhetorical oar in the water to splash that low-born Hanson oaf in her plebeian face.

In his brilliant and nuanced rebuttal he repeated the classic argument that if you falsely call a religion violent and suggest that we should restrict the immigration of believers, then the faithful already amongst us may be inspired to violence, so we should play it safe by continuing to import more of them.

Our Prime Minister is truly the Socrates of our age.

What fortunate citizens we are to be led by such moral and intellectual giants.

That nasty Hanson woman really should stop causing so much trouble. The country is in the very best of hands.