The art of selling a political message has occupied the minds of political insiders since the earliest days of civilisation. Julius Caesar is believed to have asked “what does the focus group data suggest, Brutus?” In modern times, the Greens are amongst the slickest of political campaigners, constantly updating their message to remain in touch with today’s youth.
It is with this constant imperative in mind that the Greens have unveiled their most modern campaign slogan to date:
“It’s 2016.”
It is believed that no political organisation has ever attempted this word combination before.
An intern working for the Greens, who spoke to The XYZ on condition that we like her poet page on Facebook, said they were ‘looking for a slogan which was vague enough to seem all-encompassing, but truthful enough to cover for the fact that it is, in essence, an emotive appeal which seeks to override one’s logical faculties which would otherwise raise suspicions about such openly treasonous and misanthropic policies.’
The intern continued, ‘It will be important that Greens spokespeople remain on message, and use this slogan at all times. For example, when explaining that Australia should adopt socialist economic policies, our representatives should always preface with ‘Look, it’s 2016.’ When explaining why it is vital that we eradicate ‘whiteness’ from the face of the planet, the first reason should always be ‘because it’s 2016.’
When asked what Greens campaign slogans may bring us in the future, the intern gave us a knowing look, and said, ‘We are already working on something groundbreaking.’
It’s your XYZ.