Tiny Dancer

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In the mood for dance, Bill “Dancing Queen” Shorten recently lit up the dance floor in Kiribati. Whilst his moves would have paled in comparison to the grace and athleticism of the participants in a lifestyle program at a home for the aged, Bill was undeterred, both by his much mocked dance routine, and the tiny ratings he received shortl6310y thereafter – not so much for the dance off, but as opposition leader. Once back home on terra australis Bill pirouetted straight onto the policy front, to declare a bold new initiative – tax cigarettes more. Not so now really, but this is the Labor party, and taxing the be-jesus out of their own constituency is, apparently, not as stupid as it sounds. Bill might not win a dance off with this one, but he did win the vote of the medical do-gooders.

Not to be outdone by proposing to tax the punters more, “Disco Bill” then moved on to his signature policy – a ludicrous emissions target that would dismantle the economy completely if ever implemented, and should the nation ever actually have the misfortune of electing him Prime Minister. On reflection, it’s not as stupid as it sounds really – it is the Labor party after all, and inflicting violence on the economy, and debt and deficit on the nation, is what they do best.

If there is some comfort in this for Bill, apart from the fact he is probably never going to be asked to contest in Dancing with the Stars, it’s this – his approval rating – that whopping 15% – is just about where it should be really, in that it’s broadly comparable to the percentage of Australian workers who bother with unions these days. And that’s the bloated figure, propped up by the sheltered workshops that are the public service, wherein yoga mats, complimentary tofu and free trade decaf coffee are de rigueur alongside Union membership. In the private sector, the figure is even less.

So Mr 15% seems just about spot on for an ex-union leader who has done nothing much else in life other than lead the Labor party and, err… a union, in addition to some cameos on morning TV. No wonder the vast majority of Australians don’t rate poor old Bill, either as a leader, or a dancer.