You idiot!

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You idiot!

That’s what immediately came to mind when I read this via my colleague here at XYZ – Jeremy Morgan – and the always entertaining UK Daily Mail.

I’ve been something of a frequent flyer to the old dart, for both business and pleasure, the last few years, but each time I’ve visited I have stupidly paid my own way. So after reading this, no more Heathrow hell for me, with its mind numbing queues and unfriendly passport control people who don’t give a toss how long your flight was. No more paying forty quid a night for a B&B and stocking up on Tesco lunches when short of cash so the rest can be turned into liquid refreshment at the pub.

imageUpon arrival, I’m dumping my Passport and heading straight to the door labelled Immigration, and claiming the full asylum – from those capitalist bastards in Australia or something like that, or whatever story will do the trick. It doesn’t seem to need be overly convincing or complicated these days, the trick is to be bodily present. So tick the box “asylum,”¬†answer “no sir” to any questions about documentation, and bingo, free meals, 35 quid a week, and a 3 star Hotel – that’s shaping up nicely for a week or two in the mother country.

UK taxpayer, I’m having one on you. Cheers.