ABC Protests Gay Rights


With an election fast approaching, the ABC and its coalition partner The Greens, yesterday launched an offensive targeted at its rapidly multiplying Islamic vote. Up and coming Greens lobbyist and ABC media darling Zaky Mallah is rumored to be the brain-child of the protests.

The XYZ understands that the Greens pollsters are confident that they have the support of the LGBTI movement and the church of Climate Changers, and have appeased their core base by explaining that this is not a question of self identity and rights, rather a question of Australia’s tolerance for the deeply held values of our booming Islamic community.

imageThe move is not unprecedented, as the ABC has previously championed Halal and is an advocate for uncontrolled border migration through Australia’s notoriously dangerous north west leaky taxi route.

An ABC insider explained: “It is the next logical move for the ABC – if it’s Halal, it’s Sharia, so we cannot with a clean conscience offend our brothers through support of non Sharia compliant practices such as Gay Marriage.”

Stepping up its campaign, the ABC’s agenda setting Q&A mouthpiece has announced its latest panel, which is made up of Islamic council leaders, Sharia law experts, an acquitted terrorist, convicted terrorist David Hicks, Ian Thorpe and Bruce McAvaney.

No formal statement has been issued by the Australian Government, though the US President issued his admiration for the ABC and the Greens, and the move has received rare support from Middle East leaders include the esteemed Caliph himself. The Greens are preparing a communique via their ABC to remind voters of how much this adds to their foreign policy credentials.