Virgin Airlines mocked by Chad Internet for Cringe Advertisement

By
David Hiscox
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1

It’s finally happened.

There is no coming back from this.

I have finally constructed the perfect headline:

Virgin Atlantic has introduced gender neutral uniforms for its cabin crews, pilots and ground team in an effort to become the “most inclusive airline”.

The airline on Wednesday announced its decision to allow pilots, cabin crews and ground team members to choose between wearing a bright red figure-hugging skirt and heels or a burgundy two piece, with a grey waistcoat and a tie.

The uniforms, designed by Dame Vivienne Westwood – allows staff to choose an outfit that best represents them “no matter their gender, gender identity or gender expression”.

“The updated gender identity policy is so important to me,” Jaime Forsstroem, a Virgin Atlantic cabin crew member said.

“As a non-binary person, it allows me to be myself at work and have the choice in what uniform I wear.”

Virgin Atlantic says the updated gender identity policy is “part of the airline’s ongoing drive to champion the individuality of its people and customers”.

“In a move that cements its position as the most inclusive airline in the skies, Virgin Atlantic will offer its people a fluid approach to its red and burgundy uniforms,” the airline wrote in a statement.

The internet has spoken:

It shouldn’t be this difficult to sell a product. All you need to do is film or take pictures of a pretty woman using your product, or tell a story about your product with a pretty woman, or multiple pretty women.

You barely even need to clothe her.

Men will buy your product because they want to have sex with the pretty woman, and women will buy the product because they think it will make high quality men want to have sex with them.

Basic human reproductive biology + modern audiovisual technology = $$$$$$$$

Virgin has inverted their entire marketing strategy. In naming the airliner “Virgin” then (initially) hiring really pretty women to be its flight attendants, whom we all liked to pretend were real virgins, they perfected the art of using basic human reproductive biology to sell their product.

Clownworld has now reached the point where companies are sabotaging their own commercial success through a denial of basic human reproductive biology.

Kim Jong Yuck.

It goes deeper than this. In sexualising the term “virgin” to sell an airliner, Richard Branson deliberately blasphemed one of the key elements of Christian theology, the figure of the Virgin Mary and the Immaculate Conception. Virgin Airlines was an inversion of the pure from its very inception, so this was always going to happen.

In the same way that the Sexual Revolution started with “free love” but was always going to degenerate into coercing children to mutilate their genitals for Big Pharma proft, using pretty women to sell useful products was always going to degenerate into using freaks to sell crap that we don’t want and don’t need.

The pendulum swing back is going to be one hell of a bitch.

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