Foreign Minister Fashion Rockstar!

From NewsCorp, altered by Barbaria Politica.

Trillopee Groins – Fashion!SocialSet!Nightclubbing!More!

Wow! Look, I’ve been on the trail of a special someone for months. The trail of who you ask? Well, the trail of none other than our fabulous Foreign Minister – Fluffy Saint-Claire! Fluffy is simply everywhere, or as we like to call her Minister SC! (That’s pronounced Ess-See!) I mean just look at that photo at the top. Head down, black pant suit. God help me > She’s. A. Fucking. Rockstar!

Cormann doesn’t know what he’s doing as usual. There’s the other two blokes as well, who they are is anyone’s guess. (Editor: That would be Ministers Wyatt & Porter.) Okay Ed, whatever. At least I know the other one – Mickaayleeah Cash – she of the dreadful hair. God – it’s like a Paloma Picasso wave, crossed with a Clement Meadmore sculpture, dancing on its own float at the Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras. Really, the less said the better.

But woah! Let’s get to the girl in the middle – a la Fluffy! What a star. And with a star it’s all about the money – and Fluffy certainly knows how to spend it. Travel! Fashion! Fashion shows at our precious embassies around the world! More money than you can shake a stick at! Money for the ‘disadvantaged’ and the ‘minority’, even the ‘marginalised.’ (Whatever that is, but god Fluffy, throw some my way!) If the UN General Assembly says they need cash – then Fluffy’s at the front of the queue, checkbook out, cash ready!

And now there’s a womens’ thing. And now there’s a speech for, yes, the UN again! Yay! Air kiss! Air kiss! What’s that I hear someone yell? Something about soft power and how well Fluffy wields it? Or was it an accusation that under Fluffy’s reign we’ve gone a bit soft cock on the foreign affairs front! Don’t listen Fluffy. Power or not. Position or not. Backwards or forwards. It doesn’t matter – you’re fabulous and you know it.

And that’s all that counts! Who gives a shit about real power. Good coverage on the social pages, and lots of followers on Twitter is what really matters. God people are so stupid.

This is Trillopee Groins signing off.

(TG – Hi Ed, listen, make sure you take this bit out of the article before you post it this time. God, the fuss you caused including the $ figures for those inane embassy ‘fashion’ shows. Yes, yes – I know – they were a complete fucking waste of time, and money, but really? Anyway, look, a heads up, I hear you’re being flown up to Tokyo for that Hirohito-something bash at the DCM shed. Two things. One, whatever you do don’t wear that dreadful Ken Done shirt. The DCM boys are still pissing into their soup about old Ken’s art being hung in their little Nippo hut. Two, if you do end up spending time with Fluffy – for god’s sakes – keep her off the turps. More than a thimble of champas and she’s off with the fairies and will get biblical on you. You’ve been warned.♥♥♥)

This article was originally published at Barbaria Politica,