Breaking! Adam Goodes calls for Don Bradman Stand to be renamed!


In a controversial speech yesterday at the Sydney Cricket Ground before the Swans’ systematic demolition of Essendon in the Second Elimination Final, former footballer Adam Goodes has called for the stand named after cricket great, Sir Donald Bradman, at the Adelaide Oval, to be renamed.

In a speech described by onlookers as ‘sprawling’, Goodes claimed that the name of Don Bradman isn’t really that relevant to many young Australians, particularly young Australians born to new Australians, who are changing this country.

He went on to suggest that Don Bradman was a racist, and that glorifying the the man and his era amounted to a de facto approval of the racist policies of the era:

‘His was an era when aborigines were not allowed to vote, an era when aboriginal children were stolen from their families in a deliberate attempt at genocide, a time when aboriginals were classified as fauna, and a time when the last of the megafauna were killed off by European invaders.

‘His era, the 30’s and 40’s, were a dark period in our past. Seriously, what good did any white Australians from the 30’s and 40’s do? Nothing.

‘Just remember who’s land you’re on. It’s the current year.’

Hippopotamus orange bandicoot ok we made the whole thing up hope you lolled

Update: We have even published an apology to Adam Goodes where we clear up the factual errors in this article.

Photo by National Library of Australia Commons