Clinton breaks 100m sprint record – Kim Jong Un gracious in defeat


In a remarkable recovery, Hillary Clinton has virtually come back from the dead after collapsing at the 9-11 Memorial on Sunday.

Sporting some slick shades, she later appeared to tell reporters she was feeling great.

Naturally, the media did its job and took this statement at face value and looked away – there was nothing more to report.

However, in a surprise development, Clinton added credibility to her statement by staging a bid for the 100m sprint against Saviour of the Christian West, Kim Jong Un of North Korea.

Clinton informed the world’s media that in a close-run race she bested Kim Jong Un with an 8.88 second sprint – proving once and for all her health is a non-issue.

This continues Clinton’s incredible, hard-to-believe story of health, success and mistaken cases of criminal prosecution.

* Note: In Breaking News, the North Korean media are casting doubt on some aspects of Mrs. Clinton’s claims.