BREAKING NEWS: Kim Jong Un to appear on Q&A!

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imageBREAKING NEWS. Reclusive Dear Leader Kim Jong Un, and the deceased star of the cult film ‘Weekend at Bernies’, pictured here in a rare photo opportunity at a Greens Party fundraiser, are to appear on next week’s Q&A.

A third panelist is rumoured to be the ABC’s CEO and “editor in chief” Mark Scott, whom sources say is confirmed to be alive and breathing normally, and able to form simple sentences in the English language, despite his silence on recent controversies involving the program and the growing public disdain for the ABC.

Further panelists are yet to be announced, but anonymous sources told XYZ that the publicity agent for the Unabomber Ted Kaczynski had been sounded out.

It’s your XYZ.