XYZ SATIRE: Australian Greens Express Enthusiastic Support for Iranian Nuclear Program!


The leader of the Australian Greens, Richard Di Natale, announced today that his party had pledged its full support to Iran’s fledgeling nuclear program. He described the UN sponsored sanctions regime against Iran as “illegal and tyrannical,” and expressed his genuine delight that Iran could “now utilise nuclear energy to transition away from a carbon based economy.”

imageOn vacation in the Mediterranean, Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Young praised the Islamic Republic’s efforts to combat violent extremism, and stressed:

“It is very important that to ensure a multipolar world, in order to challenge American hegemony, Iran must have a nuclear breakout capability. This deal guarantees Iran a nuclear bomb if it really wants it, and we think that is tremendous news. Furthermore, America will no longer be able to enforce democratic systems of governance upon the Middle East.”

When asked about the possibility of Australian involvement with Iran’s nuclear program, former leader Bob Brown said that he saw a “positive export future” for Australian industry. However, when pressed about whether Australia should invest in its own nuclear energy program, or use its vast and stable landscape to store nuclear waste from Iran, Brown assured his fellow earthians that “The Australian Greens have had a very firm policy for many years, both on my my watch and now – Not In My Back Yard!”